my secrets for a buck...

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 06:36:11 GMT

Well it's been a while and I've missed way to much to catch up on so I may as well point out what I can:

-I totalled my car.

-I lost my girl.

-I had a good time.

that's about all i can say. i'm enjoying life which is most important. all the side distractions come and go too much to worry anyway.

sweetie i truly will miss you as i always have and will. regardless of the bitterness shown and the shit ive been through, i love you.

barry sanders is the best running back ever in football.

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 03:38:05 GMT

Justine wanted me to write about...wait no...begged me to write about how me and her hung out last Saturday night just so she could be in my livejournal. So i will cause shes the best.

Ahem. Me and justine chilled on Saturday and we decided that we wanted to smoke so she came and met me at our spot and we smoked like 3 bongs with kortmann and then decided after kortmann peaced we would smoke a little more. So we had a bowl but we didnt wanna use it. So we made a bong out of a water bottle a pen cap and some gum and wrappers. And it was sick.

There lush :)

thanksgiving break

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 18:36:21 GMT

this should be the entry that i recap my entire tuesday-sunday thanksgiving break...but i dont remember what happened. so ill try my best.

1) I remember driving on Tuesday with Laura in her cabrio and i promised her since we drove with the top down and listened to christmas music id write about it in my livejournal. so i did. hi laura.
2) I remember Tuesday was crazy.
3) I remember wednesday until i got drunk. We played football in the rain 5 on 5 and that was insane. Dono wrecked hulk, but csorny beat us out in the end. Some random memories of that night include Jager at Bill's with bill mohammed legoff and me, plus that game of baseball...that fucked me up. Then there was a sobriety checkpoint and that was fucking crazy. Then I went to dustins and somehow ended up back at bills by justine. thanks lush
4) Thursday was Thanksgiving...and it was kinda lonely. We had less family than ever, and it was a lot different than my past two years. Felt kinda empty. But that's ok because after I chilled with everyone, and I felt a little better.
5) Oh no. The night of nights...the dawn of days...Friday...Rico's treehouse party. Bill mohammed hulk me lucenti and smith were drunk at like 9, and belligerent by 11. I had a goodtime for a while, did some things I dont remember...got driven home by jamie giffuni, thanks jay...that was one of the first times i blacked out from drinking. As for the incident, and you'll know what im talking about if youre supposed to, it wouldve never happened if you werent so cold hearted as to blatantly throw yourself into all my best friends arms when you didnt have the decency to say hi or even text message me happy thanksgiving back when i said it to you out of kindness.
6) Saturday night. Everyone just chillllleeeddd out and talked about what exactly happened from their point of views. Kane's dead. Dono barried. Smith got molested. Hulk puked. Lucenti puked. Sims puked. Everyone else died.

The fun times in Smithtown had to come to an end yesterday but it was just a small preview of winter break/CANADA with the boys.

As for you, I'll leave you with this since you told me you don't want to talk to me anymore.

"This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone
On the street with a cigarette
On the first night we met

Look to the past
And remember and smile.
And maybe tonight
I can breathe for awhile.
I'm not in the scene
I think I'm fallin' asleep
But then all that it means is
I'll always be dreaming of you.

Fate fell short this time."

Please leave a comment of a memory I may have forgotten I love reading that stuff.

one more day.

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 00:22:13 GMT

Ok...wow. A lot happened this weekend. Wow. Friday was Jungle Juice Fridays in G-3, and we were all hammered. I went to the beach with Ant, Jamie, Elaine, some other people I can hardly even remember. It was some good times.

Saturday. Very interesting. Kinda wish Saturday into Sunday never ended. Got drunk, chilled with an old friend. It felt so good, and so right. Just gotta follow your heart and it will most likely lead you in the right direction. I guess that's all I can say, I don't need some stupid comments or my friends kicking my ass, but I know where I want to be happy and so do you.

Anyway Sunday I just chilled and watched football. Fucking Giants. Fucking fantasy teams.

Monday. I have to study for a 3 chapter accounting test. Then I can take it at 11 and go home. I should be in Smithtown by 3. OMG I CANT WAIT TO BE IN SMITHTOWN.

Tues. - Chillen
Weds. - Football
Thurs. - Thanksgiving
Fri. - Softball/Rico's party
Sat. - More partying
Sun. - Chillen

My head is on so straight right now and I've finally realized what I want.

colllllegggggeeeeeee...

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 21:09:19 GMT

Ok last weekend I went to Cortaca. For those of you who aren't familiar with such an event, it is the football game between SUNY Cortland and SUNY Ithaca which is infamous for being a total shitshow weekend. Sims and I took the trip up with our buddies JLaw and Keith, and we got there at like 11PM Friday night. It was awesome to see Smith who was already wasted, but we didn't party much on Friday due to our late arrival.

BUT THAT WAS OK BECAUSE...

I was awoken by the blasting NFL on Fox football theme at 7:15AM and Smith's roomate and suitemate barged into the room screaming "OK BOYS IT'S TIME TO DRINK!!!!" So...

8AM: Drinking
9AM: Drunk
10AM: Puking
12PM: Hungover at the football game

Then Cortland lost so it was time to drink again. We partied so hard at this house that night that the kids who lived there got evicted.....take time to read that sentence again because yes they cannot live in their house because we partied too hard. Crazy.

Sunday we came back and I was so dead tired that I didn't do anything except sit on my couch and watch football.

I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving, because Rico's treehouse party will be just one of many crazy times in less than a week span...plus i cant wait to see some people :)

word

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 05:14:09 GMT

ok ok so last weekend was bill mac's halloween party...WHAT HAPPENED? random incidents include chillen with hernandez, driving to 7-11 OMG, "IVE GOT SOUL BUT IM NOT A SOLDIER!!!" chats with chrissy and jackie, i dont even know what else, but good times.

it was good to be home chillen with legoff, always good times with legoff...friday hulk was obliterated, and that was good times too.

cortaca november 14th...oh no. dawn of days with smith comin up.

let's see where this takes us.

dead

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 19:52:36 GMT

im so fucking sick and i hate it. i slept for 17 hours last night and stilll feel like shit. on top of that i have mad work due tuesday including a test at 11am which i highly doubt ill be ready for cause i cant even open a book without my head spinning.

this weekend was mad cool. road trip with hulk lito will and robs to see shiz in rochester. smith came up sat. kanye was ill.

i have no money in my bank account and i feel miserable. this school year is not shaping up as id planned this summer

sail belly up to the clouds

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 20:15:18 GMT

So school actually isn't that bad anymore. I kind of enjoy my floor because the kids are wild and theyre actually not all complete assholes. I'm learning a lot this year in life, especially in terms of letting things go. I actually had to let something go recently, through many hardships and many good times as well. The craziest part was that it was something that I never thought I would ever be without or have to forget. But it happened, and I know I've said "it's for good this time" before but this time I'm 99% sure that it is...and you know what I guess that has to be ok. But that's ok because I actually am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and honestly with all the shit I was put through and how I was fucked with I guess that sort of had to happen, because as much as I would've gone back, I always had a heavy heart towards it and felt some pain even in the happiest of times. So I guess it's not so much good that it's over as much as it is healthy. I read a quote recently saying "live like you've never been hurt" and that's just how I have to live and how I hope I will.

Anyway next week me hulk lito and will are goin to see shiz at RIT and see kanye niggazzzz. Then we should have some fun at shiz's apartment. Lots of fun.

That's it for now kids enjoy your schools and I'll see all you S'town kids back in starbucks this thanksgiving.

scott

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 06:00:40 GMT

yo scotts mad cool and hes in the hiz-ouse. pz.

it was number five, with a bullet.

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 20:43:58 GMT

so this weekend was really really good. for once. friday i chilled with everyone in town and said hi to some old friends that i was glad were friendly to me. dustin even hugged me. i love you dustin. after the lot we went to hulks then norwicks party and it was cool chillen with the gangstas who actually were nice and cool. i didnt know that existed. saturday was sickkkk. hulk and smith woke me up cause they were across the street in hulks grandmas with barry. legoff got 'starfox' and he was the man. after chillin there all day we drove out got lucenti came back and drank some vodka beer jd whatever was available. then we went to the game, chilled with justine and them, then smith got a call sayin dustin was having a nice little get together so me and smith split an 18 rack...when we were already faced. that was awesome, talked a lot with v :) which was awesome cause i havent talked to her in forever.

sunday smith drove me home maddd early with some nice taking back sunday sing alongs to start our hungover day. got home slept til like 130 when hulk woke me up for the second straight day to chill. he came over watched the giants, then justine andrea kim and natasha stopped by, chilled with them...then last night i went to lucentis and we had a sick time watching sports center and wondering why san francisco kicked it deep hahaahhaahaaha.

back at school and im going to the ALDS game 2 yanks vs twins. thats on wednesday and should be sick cause we have no class on thursday.

good weekend thats that. time to start back in connecticutt again...w0000....shit.

word

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 06:54:12 GMT

Went home last week, i needed that sooo badly...i had a good time and def love hanging out with everyone back there...cant wait to see matty and whoever else goes home this weekend cause it's gonna be hoppin...school is really beat i dont like it here but its ok it passes time and gives me freedom so who am i to complain.

Hopefully we're goin up to see Shiz on like october 22nd or something...shiz and our friend kanye west for 10 bucks haha if this goes through its gonna be amazing.

Started a little 2 guitar thing with my buddy joe...we're already playing an open mike tomorrow night...we have an original with lyrics but its not perfect yet...this could be the development of something big though because everyone tells me they love the song...if you havent heard it this is the link:

http://www.angelfire.com/music5/joema

Lemme know what you think on the comments section. pz.

Issues.

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 19:08:07 GMT

I guess it would be my job to apologize to all of my friends who I lost...people like Dustin, Lisa, Kces, VW, and whoever else hates me...if you still don't like me that's ok but I'm sorry personally for being antisocial with you guys all summer and for whatever I apparently said about Dustin, I have no idea what it was and I'm sorry man. No one has to forgive me because I probably don't deserve it but if anyone is cool with that than I hope we could talk and maybe even hang out again. At least my conscience feels better now. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come around." You guys are awesome people regardless and deserve everything you aspire to be.

so long sweet summer

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 17:03:48 GMT

Well, it's about that time and the summer is officially winding down...Smith's gone, Csorny's gone, Johnny's gone, and Bill prob won't be here when I get back from the cruise that im going on today. I'm going to Canada from Sunday til Friday and I'll prob be gambling and drinking my face off.

But as for summer, it has truly been the most out of control summer of our lives, or at least mine. Let's recap some of the sick times...

-Fire Island
-My house the next day
-Softball
-Battle royaling at Scotts
-Dono's!
-The Ship!
-Random Knox parties
-Sugar Ray, Bojangles, The Colonel, Grr, Moogie, The Get Go, Training Day, Pepe, Echo, The Titanic (any others)
-Fat Will's!
-Shiz's

Anything and anyone else I forgot than I'm sorry.

Leave a memory of this wild summer, that is funny/strange/entertaining.

Thanks for a sick summer town. And I still have til September 6th...w00t

w0000000000t

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 18:11:58 GMT

Recap of the last few things that I remember, and focus on the 'that I remember' because I'll probably mention 5 things that happened in the last week if I can even recall that much.

- Softball quarter and semi finals: Winners n00bies
Game 1: n00bies: 7 sons of beaches: 6 (8 innings)
Sick game by all coming back from losing all game.

Game 2: n00bies: 6 team whitacker: 5
Game ball to Sims and Cara for their 3 RBI's in the top of the 7th that clinched the championship

-Softball finals: n00bies vs. the beach monkees

Beach Monkees 7, n00bies 5...close game, disappointing, all around great playing by all, and fuck you ump for blowing the game in the first inning by missing a clear tagout at the plate by myself claiming "i didnt see it"...fucking dick.

Dono's house...dono's house...oh my god...dono's house...I can't speak words that could describe the insanity.

-Keg kicked in 2 hours
-A 150 beer beer-run all killed
-The missing Pepe...someone's dead
-If i could make a sunglasses AIM smiley here I could and if you don't know what i mean than ignore it you wouldn't get it
-Waking up the next morning at 12 after not going to work, chillen out with the 7 survivors including Smith, Sweeney, Kim, Annie, Britt, and Nicole
-Going in Dono's pool the next day with britt and nicole and basically running his house til 1:30

This last week has been so unreal that I can hardly believe everything that happened.

This summer fucking rocks. Best summer of my entire life.

There's a good energy in the gym!

Birthday Bash..

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 17:34:58 GMT

Last week was fucking crazy. Maybe I should just stop there because that's all that's needed to be said.

Thursday was my birthday...I went out to eat with my family then played cards at Scott's...I was in 3rd at the end of the day going into the final 9 and I wound up placing a disappointing 7th after Johnny called a $105 bet with a 3 and a 5 and won on the river...typically.

Friday Franky, Smith, Kces, Nina and I took a road trip up to Boston to see Dispatch...and it was one of the best trips ever. Driving up out of our minds, chillen with barry and smith in front of Fenway, Iowa kids, dead drunk at the end of the night. The next day we got to the Hatch at like 2 or something and the show started at 5. It was one of the greatest shows i've ever seen...for those of you who didn't know it was Dispatch's last show ever. We met up with Shiz, Bill and Mikey and Mike's friends from school and all chilled out, and Chuck and Kanter were there too. Cooooool shit.

On the drive home I came back with Bill Shiz and Mike, and it is officially impossible to drive while eating a McFlurry. Bill was right, my bad sir.

Another week ahead, another week closer to Fairfield, and I think I'm gonna enjoy it much more this year...if everything goes alright...

Do YOU believe in fate or is life just a bunch of insane coincidences?

oh thnikkaman

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 16:44:34 GMT

before i post anything i would just like to express my eternal love for a one kristen cesiro. oh yes. :).

ahem;

...
She sits alone by a lamppost
Trying to find a thought that’s escaped her mind
She says dad’s the one I love the most
But stipe’s not far behind

She never lets me in
Only tell me where’s she’s been
When she’s had too much to drink
I say that I don’t care I just run my hands
Through her dark hair and then I pray to god
You gotta help me fly away

And just...
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

This morning I woke up alone
Found a note by the phone
Saying maybe, maybe I’ll be back some day
I wanted to look for you
You walked in I didn’t know just what I should do
So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for
Myself.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Last night I tried to leave
Cried so much I just
Could not believe
She was the same girl i
Fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to
Get high
I sat down on my couch
And cried
Yelling oh mama please
Help me
Won’t you hold my hand.

And
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

summer cont.

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 16:53:46 GMT

This summer is going by way too fast, I can't believe I'm gonna be 19 in 13 days.

The last week has been crazy, especially thanks to Mikey for having us over every night even after I got owned for my party. Last night was out of control. P.H. is all I can say.

I'm at work right now in a classroom updating this, that's fucking cool. The toilet in the room next to me keeps flushing randomly and it's kinda bugging me out. Our softball team is so talented and I love it. We're 2-0 after some ill pitching by myself (come on when do I ever brag, you know I must've played well). I'd like to thank that random from the beach monkees who joined the other team giving us game 2.

New Taking Back Sunday is amazing. You should listen if you haven't already.

Mixed feelings about going back to Fairfield...I hope it helps with a car...it probably will.

I'm pretty emo right now but it's Friday afternoon, a great day outside, and I'm playing softball and probably getting retarted tonight. I guess that'll help. Did I say probably...I meant definetly. Here comes another Dawn of Days Smith.

Fuckkkkk.

OHHH MYYYY GOODDDDD

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 04:28:20 GMT

Ok so i have to stop and thank the last 3 nights for being the 3 most insane nights of my life. Thanks also to all of those who i fail to mention in this entry that made it real.

NIGHT 1: THE DAWGHOUSE (Scott's)
Characters: Mack, Smith, Shiz, Hulk, Centi, Mikey, Legoff
Setting: Back porch and kitchen
Memorable lines:
-Smith: Guys guess where I'm getting an internship...keep in mind im gonna be a sports trainer of some sort.
Mack: Spalding?! Centi: Wilson!?
Smith: No think bigger and not really that kind of sports...
Hulk: Jenny Craig?!...Everyone: ROFL

Mack: PLATI IS COOLER THAN PLATI!

BATTLE ROYALE: CHRISTIAN UNDISPUTED CHAMPION...my body was broken the next day and I loved it.

NIGHT 2: BATWING DOCK (Fire Island at Dustin's Beach House)
Characters: Mack, Smith, Mikey, Sims, Kces, Duddy, Lee, Csorns, Dono, Varin, D'espo, Deidre
Memorable Moments/Lines:
-Playing 'Barry Sanders Trading Cards' with Mike and all of Dustin's parents friends.
-Shot of Yager with Smith, Csorns, Sims and Good Ol' Ed Rowland.
-Great long conversation with Lee...i love her so much and she is by far my favorite dresser haha lee
-Quazi Moto = OUT OF CONTROL... 8 = Mungh
-Skinny dipping out of our minds trashed with the guys and girls hahahaha PSYCHO
-Beach Volleyball Champions: Mack, Sims, Mikey, Csorns...FUCKK SMITH MR. ALL AMERICAN HAHA
-Car battery dead in Bayshore...because I left my keys in the ignition overnight...rofl
-Csorns almost killing us by hitting that truck

NIGHT 3: FROGVILLE CENTER (keep in mind about 2 hours after Fire Island at Mack's house)
Characters: TOO MANY...noteable randoms include Geno and his boys and STEVE!
Night = Blur after 1 and a half bottles of White Zin, 3 shots of 151, and about 8 beers and who could forget a shitload of Barry.
Moments:
-Pool!!!
-NAKED GIRLS PLAYING KINGS
-LUCENTI, HULK, MACK, SHIZ, SMITH, LEGOFF = DEAD.
-BILL DRUNK OFF HIS ASS DRIVES BACK AFTER GETTING DROPPED OFF TOTALLY FUCKED UP NOT EVEN ABLE TO REALIZE HE SHOULDN'T DRIVE AND PASSES OUT ON MY SIDE YARD...HE NEVER EVEN MADE IT INSIDE!!!! AHAHAHHAHA
-Roof hopping
-7-11 with Shiz, Smith, Hulk, Baker...OUT OF OUR MINDS
-Passing out on my pool float in my pool, and on the walk to and from 7-11...twice.
-Waking up 4 hours later at 8am still fucked up and going to work.

What an insane weekend...hope you all had as much fuckin' fun as I did.
And if you read this far you're fucking awesome and leave a memory of this insane weekend that I forgot or just add to one.

tbs

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 05:57:16 GMT

Taking Back Sunday - Number Five With A Bullet

"We're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old
really gotta hand it to you
really gotta hand it to you
are you possitive
absolutely sure
well just get dressed, don't do this
just get dressed, don't do this

spend the night late listening to miles davis
you said it makes you want to fall in love
or be smart enough to keep your distance
you can't decide, you can't decide

we're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old
really gotta hand it to you
really gotta hand it to you
(well just so you know)
are you possitive
(when we get home)
absolutely sure
(we're through)
well just get dressed, don't do this
(we're through)
just get dressed, don't do this

it's a long way back south
(to where i belong)
well you've been there once or twice
(and you still don't like it)
i say you just never gave it a chance
(well give me a chance, give me a chance)
besides did you ever stop to think
that we could keep this up living like theives
(but you can't decide)
you can't decide
(no you can't decide)
well you can't decide

we're gonna die like this you know
(we're gonna die like this)
miserable and old
(miserable and old)
really gotta hand it to you
(miserable and old)
really gotta hand it to you
(well just so you know)
are you possitive
(when we get home)
absolutely sure
(we're through)
well just get dressed, don't do this
(we're through)
just get dressed, don't do this

are you positive, absolutely sure
are you positive

we're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old
really gotta hand it to you
really gotta hand it to you

well just so you know
(we're gonna die like this you know)
when we get home
(miserable and old)
we're through
(really gotta hand it to you)
we're through
(really gotta hand it to you)

just so you know
(are you positive)
when we get home
(aboslutely sure)
we're through
(just get dressed don't do this)
we're through
(just get dressed don't do this)

well just so you know
(we're gonna die like this you know)
when we get home
(miserable and old)
we're through
(we'regonna die like this, miserable and old)
we're through
(miserable and old)
well just so you know
(we're gonna die like this you know)
when we get home
(miserable and old)
we're through
(we're gonna die like this, miserable and old)
we're through"

fuckkkk youuuu

Sun, 27 Jun 2004 07:32:19 GMT

to point out something funny i used to get critisized by my ex for being an 'alcoholic'...u know drinking like 3 times a week if that.

turns out she was the biggest shitshow in the hamptons after prom...hah glad you enjoyed yourself...if u did.

k now to the non fuck off and die section of this entry...

this last weekend is out of control. all i can say is Aquafina is our world and if youre not cool with it...sucksss...

No new taxes is the president and read the Bible for more info...although no one except a good select 10 boys and girls will really understand this section of the entry.

hmm...n00bies softball is gonna fucking rock.
Echo rocks.

dodgeball is a fun fun game.

im digressing sorry.

"So, we're talking forever
and you almost feel better
but, betters no excuse for tonight
you see, it's never been enough
just to leave all you gave up
but, its never good enough to feel right

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
it will all catch up eventually
well, it caught up and honestly
the weight of my decisions
were impossible to hold

today we'll never know
today we'll never know
Well I, know you know, everything
I know you didnt mean it
I know you didnt mean it"

new taking back sunday........cooooool.

my favorite line is "it's never good enough to feel right."

so true. dont get me wrong im no longer depressed or hating everything...but that line is my life. thanks for bringing me out of my shithole everyone who made me realize how i really do hate someone more and more everyday...id still be at home without you guys bitching in my room...much appreciation.

really long entry...i doubt anyone read this far...but if you did lemme know wahts up kids...lata

Hmmm let's chat here...

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 06:00:34 GMT

Oh man guys this entry is gonna be full of hapiness because im so fucking excited right now.

Wait did you think I was serious? Because I'm not.

I don't understand myself...I'm hung up on a girl who cheated on me too many times with the same kid, fixed things with me, waited for me to come home for the summer in hopes of starting over, and decided to hook up with her best friend instead saying, "I'm not gonna see him until sooooo long and I need to be free without you bothering me this summer." So i say, "well take a timeout for a sec and think about how if you let go now, then ill be gone for good and every plan about the next 4 years when you'll be at school 5 mins away from me will be gone." And shes like "...k peace". It's easy when you're that beautiful because any sucker will fall for you in a heartbeat.

Anywayyyyy...I caught up with Jillian last night for the first time in forever, and I'd really like to apologize to her for being a dick around 6 months ago because she needed help and I was influenced to not help her. You're the best Jill.

sakdfhsajkdfkjsadkfkkjsdajkfskadhrf FUCK YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU.

man this entry is so depressing im sorry.

oh and to address one more thing...from time to time i get anonymous posts that call me names like u know a 'huge fucking pussy get over that your old girlfriend is fucking someone else.' well you know what if you have something to say, im so sick of your bitching to me just call me out and i will be happy to fight you...im honestly at the point where i dont care and i will man up to whatever shit i hear.

thats all. peace lata.

yeah

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 06:35:16 GMT

Changed the background...I can't really look at that Guster picture...I was at that show and would rather not wanna have it remind me of anything. Guess the new band describes what kind of music I've been listening to lately. For anyone who listens to them, Taking Back Sunday's new album drops July 27th...I'd get it.

Check out http://www.fanscape.com/home/artists.aspx?genre=ROCK&bandcode=TAKINGBACKSUNDAY if you wanna listen to their new single off the unreleased CD called "A Decade Under the Influence."

Fuck the past, fuck the present...hope for the best to come.

my so called summer...

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 06:56:00 GMT

Everything that's ever bothered me in the past few weeks all built up into one explosion today. I'm fine now. I think I needed that. I feel numb now to everything.

I need something new in my life.

To the emo crew...

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 07:33:59 GMT

Recently there have been many arguements and major problems in what was one of the tightest cliques in Smithtown. I'd like to address that I am hurting as well that it is falling apart and would love to contribute to the survival of some best friends.

I know I've changed as has everyone else who went away...and those who stayed have changed as well. People change and we have to hope others can accept and not let changes stray a friendship..because there are no distance changes, we all still live here and should make the best of it.

I feel that this song describes our situation...lemme know

"Same Direction" - Hoobastank

"Whenever i step outside, somebody claims to see the light
It seems to me that all of us have lost our patience.
'cause everyone thinks they're right,
And nobody thinks that there just might
Be more than one road to our final destination

But i'm not ever going to know if i'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
And i'm not sure which way to go because all along
We've been going in the same direction

I'm tired of playing games, of looking for someone else to blame
For all the holes in answers that are clearly showing
For something to fill the space, was all of the time i spent a waste
'cause so many choices point the same way i was going.....

So why does there only have to be one correct philosophy?
I don't want to go and follow you just to end up like one of them
And why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?
I'd like to think that i can go my own way and meet you in the end.

But i'm not ever going to know.........."

numb

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 19:44:33 GMT

So in my ongoing emo efforts to find great lyrics that fit my life, i came across Bill's sister's profile and found this:

"Things just repeat. Day and night, summer and winter. The world is empty and aimless. Everything circles around. Whatever starts up must pass away, whatever is born must die. It all cancels out, the good and bad, beautiful and ugly. Everything's empty. Nothing is real. Nothing matters."

Fuck everything. I hate it.